3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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