Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
