p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
