i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
