i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
