Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
