BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
