I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
