Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
