Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
