Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
