I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize