Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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