Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
