We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
