this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Randomize
