Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
