I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
