i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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