You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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