You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
