I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
