Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
