remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Don't EVER smell your tampon
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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