wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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