I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
This is the high leading the old right now
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
