We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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