As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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