If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
