I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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