Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
