he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
