and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
