So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
