where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
How external is "for external use only"?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
