Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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