I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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