Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
