fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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