Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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