its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
