yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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