No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
