Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
