I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize