i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
