I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize