The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
