you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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