I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
