Just cropdusted the office
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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