He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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