the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
