these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
