Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
