Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
