Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
